Rachel. This is great. This story pretty much sums me up in a nutshell.
So. Here it goes. Don't judge me, I was starving.
We were driving back from Eugene a few weeks ago and it was time for dinner. If I don't eat on time I turn into Jessie, the horrid beast. Which equals being extremely picky and indecisive and irrational. I had it in my mind I wanted a McChicken. If you've never had one you should. Luckily McDs was just up the road.
We stop in Cottage Grove, hit up McDs, go inside because I have to pee. This is mistake number one. McDonalds is always more appealing when you go through the drive thru. Faster. Less mistakes. You don't see anyone or anything. Get your food and go. This McDonalds just happened to be quite fancy. I had high hopes. It had legit ice cream in a rad ice cream freezer. I was waiting for Matt and Molly...the good news about being a frequent pee-er is that you become quite speedy...I decide to scope out the ice cream. GASP! A dead fly is frozen into the rainbow sherbet. I turn to make sure I tell everyone in line about the indecency of it all. I wait patiently for the worker to come ask if I knew what I wanted. And this is what proceeded.
Sassy Boy: What can I get for you today?
Sassy Jessie: Well I'm not sure but did you know there is a disgusting dead fly in the ice cream?
Sassy Boy: Hmm. Okay.
Gets a spoon scoops out the fly, puts the ice cream back
Sassy Jessie: You aren't seriously going to put that nasty ice cream back in there for everyone to eat are you?
Sassy Boy: I guess
Sassy Jessie: What do you mean you guess? That's disgusting. You can't serve food that has dead flies in it.
Sassy boy rolls his eyes and walks away. Goes to the back where the "cooks" are starts talking to them...they all stare at me...they all laugh at me. By this time Matt and Molly are back and embarrassed. Matt tells me to just order my food. I tell him now I can't because the "cooks" are laughing at me which means they were going to taint my food in some way like I used to do when I worked at McDs and people sassed me.
Extra mayo? I'll give you extra mayo. I get to the front of the line again. I tell the dear boy in training I need to speak to the manager. He says ok.
Out comes Sassy Boy.
Sassy Irrational Starving Beast Jessie who just wanted a McChicken: YOU are the manager? Seriously? Who else can I talk to? You clearly haven't been trained because that was disgusting.
Out walks Ash. Ash with her awesome gold shimmer eye shadow. And asks what's wrong. I tell her about the disgusting fly, how he put the ice cream back and how they were all at the very moment staring at me and laughing.
Sassy Ash: Well I am the assistant manager and I will make sure that I talk to him about this later but I can't do it now. Do you know what you want?
Sassy Jessie: I can't order anything now...the cooks are all laughing at me. They are going to spit in my food. I want the number to your
actual manager.
Sassy Ash: I'm the assistant manager and I'm sure they aren't laughing at you and I will make sure they don't spit in your food.
Sassy Jessie: I know you are the assistant manager I want to talk to somebody who knows what they are doing and hey are laughing at me, I'm watching them right now.
Sassy Ash: I am not about to accuse somebody of something I know nothing about.
Sassy Jessie: It's not accusing. I'm watching them. I want the number of someone I can talk to. This is the worst McDonalds I have ever been to.
Matt and Molly leave. Heads held low in shame.
Sassy Ash continues to tell me how she will reprimand them later but she wouldn't accuse them of doing something when she couldn't see it. I told her to just give me the number and stop talking to me about it. She keeps interrupting telling me that she won't accuse anyone of anything over and over. I ask her to please stop interrupting me and just give me the number. She keeps interrupting me as I'm asking her to please stop interrupting me. I yell at her "YOU ARE INTERRUPTING ME RIGHT NOW" She then says "Well now I am REFUSING service to you" I tell her I don't want her service, that's the point Ash. I want the phone number and I want to leave. She gives me the number. I leave. Starving. Annoyed. Laughing out loud.
And that's that.
Poor dear. Her teammate threw her a pass that was a smidge too high. Molly jumped for it and when she landed she apparently forgot you have to put your feet down first. She landed right on her knee. Everyone in the gym heard it. Sweet. Matt and I rushed down to the trainers office to find the poor little soul. When we got there Molls was grimacing in pain while the physical therapist twisted and prodded her poor little knee cap. I had to leave the room. It was very sad. Once I gained my composure and Molly stopped crying I did what every good mother would do. I asked the trainers to move over so I could get a picture for my blog. They stared at me like I was crazy. I said I needed it to document. Blogs are very important you see. While Molly was fussing about not wanting to be on my blog when she looked so horrendous, I explained to her that it was my journal and she shouldn't sass me about such things. Plus, I told her, you will look rad and then you can tell your kids how ferocious you were. Then she rolled her eyes at me because she gets embarrassed when I talk like that.
This is me...an inch off the floor...hanging on for dear life.
