Poop Poisoning

Okay so I have a lot of wonderful, exciting new things to post about from our wonderful, exciting spring break vacation but an incident occurred that needs to be reported before further blogging can take place. We were on our way home Saturday from our fun spring break in Eugene/Newport/Florence(not Italy) and Matt's dad decided to take us out to lunch before we hit the road. I forced everybody into going to Red Robin because I love Red Robin and I always get what I want...did I just say that out loud...I think I did. (to be honest, my posterity will read this someday and i must be honest, i was totally down for going to chillies but Matt is the one who truly made the decision for RR)
I will set the scene for ya'll...
Red Robin
I ate my whole entire Whiskey River BBQ Burger...that could be a blog post in and of itself... and all of my french fries(we always prepare good for fast Sunday!)

After we were stuffed to the brim with food the waiter so kindly brought us out some more fries...I spied a fry that was half eaten sitting in Matt's basket. I pick it up. I smell an overwhelming poop smell. Not just a bad smell, a literal poop smell. I look around to see what in the world could be making such a foul smell. Nothing. Weird. I dip the fry in ranch put it in my mouth. Again I smell poop. Ugh it's on my hands! Uuuughhh it's in my MOUTH! I freak out. Spit my food out in a napkin and start yelling...."My mouth tastes like POOP!!!"

Matt: Did you just eat a half eaten fry?

Me: panting frantically trying to do anything to get the overwhelming taste of poop out of my mouth. Yes! What was wrong with it??

Matt: cracking up...I don't know but I tried to eat it and I couldn't because it tasted like poop. I thought it was rotten or something.

Matt picks up my napkin smells it...agrees that it smells just like poop. Bry picks it up and also agrees it smells JUST like poop. We call the waiter over...

Matt: smell this! it smells like poop!

Me: did I seriously just eat poop? I'm going to die if I seriously just ate poop! I can not believe this. I just got poop poisoning....

Waiter agrees it smells just like poop. He is sorry and goes to get the manager. Our whole table is reeking like poop by this point. I am hyperventilating thinking about ingesting some kind of feces. Barf. I start to feel like I'm going to barf. The manager discounts my 8.99 burger and hopes that we enjoyed our meal. Are you kidding? Gee thanks...8.99 in exchange for someone else's poop in my mouth??

We call our friend's who are smart(one is a pharmacist the other a nurse...they always come to our rescue when one of us is sick) they tell us a whole list of things we need to get and start taking to try and prevent getting food poisoning or HEPATITIS. Lauri, Matt's sister who is also smart and a nurse agrees. We spend two hours searching Eugene for Charcoal pills, pepto bismol, grapefruit seed extract and acidophiles.

Good grief. Matt takes a drink from his water bottle once we are in the car to try and wash his mouth out...his tongue was smelling at this point, yes I smelled it, and now his water bottle is reeking like poop. Seriously. I'm not even kidding. All night long our stomachs were a churning. I am scarred for life. The lady at the pharmacy said that the Red Robin in Eugene has had poop related outbreaks twice before and everyone who ate there during a certain time period had to have a hepatitis shot! AND the E.R. Doctor who is in our ward in Ashland said that the most common place people get food poisoning in the area is from RED ROBIN. Why? I love Red Robin. Sad day. All I could say the whole ride home was "holly cow! we just got poop poisoning"

Here's me preparing to take my drugs, showing off my rad nightgown that Matt just adores and my equally new, rad, sexy haircut.

This post does not even do justice to how bad we were freaking out. But it gives you a nice little glimpse. Cheers!