New Haircuts

Pretty rocking huh? Not weird or creepy at all? Good.

I Heart Utah

Hello hello. Life has been busy and our internet has checked out...so that turns into never blogging. After a week of uploading pictures, seriously, I can finally post about our trip to Utah. Can I start off by saying I LOVE Utah. If we could we would pick up and move tomorrow. Love it. We went out there to take Molls to EFY and decided to stay the week. It was grand. We were hot, ate my favorite food, got some goods at all the rad Utah stores, and hung out with friends and fam we hardly get to see.

Bry Leslie and Parker-Parker got baptized the day before we got there. Sad we missed it, but happy we got a picture of him in his great new suit.

By some randomness-miracleness we got to see Sara and the gals for a few minutes before they headed home to Texas. Got to love my sweet Adz.

Sister in Laws(or Love as Sara calls us :))

Cambrie is just the cutest. She might just be the prettiest 10 year old I've ever seen.

Happy Birthday Leslie! We went to IHOP to celebrate before we had to head to Logan to take Molls to the Mormon Camp of Horrors...or so she says. Leslie, I must share because I love you and you are the nicest...while we were eating Bry found 3 little black hairs on his plate of eggs. Um gross. Leslie, because she is kind and wants everything to go smoothly, simply wiped up the hairs like any good wife would do and said....there all better. The waitress is lucky that I was not eating eggs with hair and that it was Leslie's birthday and requested a hassle free breakfast or she might have been a little sad.

Hard to tell who's cuter....Molly refused to smile at me once. I think she refused to smile once all week. She was not loving the idea of EFY once it actually came around. 6 months ago she thought it was the coolest thing ever. Oh how time changes things.

I got to rock my Ed Hardy's in Ephraim...but then all the turky-ness of the town made them dirty and I got mad.

Charles and Darlene made us Navajo tacos. I believe I have already professed my love for Navajo tacos before but just incase I hadn't here is a picture to get your mouth watering. Huh? You think these look like chickens. You're right. But they are scones waiting patiently to be turned into tacos. LOVE IT. Utah-ness is awesome-ness.

Since Ephraim is small and a little boring I got tricked into going to the batting cages. I have to admit though, I totally rocked it. After the initial horror of how fast(or slow according to Matt) the balls fly at you, I sucked it up and hit 11 in a row. I know. I rocked.

This is Matt and Kristin. When we were first married Kristin and Devin were are very next door neighbors. They say they could even hear us reading our scriptures through the wall. I don't know about that but we were close thats for sure. Anyways since we lived in a plig town, and Kristin and I were ALWAYS together we started calling her "number 2". And that's how Matt became a plig.

Matt got to play softball while we were there which just about made the whole Utah trip worth while. Not to mention he got a home run which also just about made the whole Utah trip double worth while.

This is Maple Leaf. My old work. I loved it there. It was a food storage store/cannery/flower shop/UPS place/a bunch of other random things. Kristin and I goofed around all day and made fun of all the bossy ladies we worked with. Since Charles and Darlene, Kristins parents, owned the place we really got away with doing nothing.

This is Devin. Our old neighbor. He is now rich and famous since he is going to play for Green Bay. That basically means that Matt and I are also rich and famous. So consider yourself lucky to know us. Since we were friends with them through their poor just barely married days I expect a BMW as a thank you for your loyalty and being the raddest friends we ever had gift. I'll be anxiously waiting for it to arrive guys.

Miss you guys. See you in GB! I'll be the girl wearing a parka.

This is where Matt first told a gal(that would be me) that he loved her. The most romanic place in Provo...right outside the classy Motel 8.

This is where I first told a sweet pork burrito that I loved him. Also very romantic.

Jessica this is for you. I know how much you loved this picture on facebook so I thought I would add it to my blog incase I have any blog fans that are not infact facebook fans. Love ya though.

That is all for now. My thinking cap is turned off and I can't think of any more to say.

Hello World!

Here is to June.

I read and LOVED the Hunger Games

The In-Laws made their way down to little ol' Talent and we went sight seeing

Happy early b-day Matt and Ann

Matt got woken up 2 hours after the crack of dawn by an overly enthusiastic lady who will go un-named

Luckily he loves her and he loves his b-day so he got up gladly

Matt got some pretty rad things if I do say so myself

We scored a FREE barely used bbq and have been grillin up a storm

After all the things Matt got he still had a birthday request...I had to fill our picture frames that have been hanging picture-less on our wall since we got married(thanks Marg)

We went to the lake and roasted hot dogs and mallows with our friends the Halls...Molls talked on her phone the whole time and dodged the camera

Love Summer!

Molly and the girls on the dock

Matt and Charles trying to learn how to fish with their new poles...Charlie kept catching sea weed. Not so tasty.

Woot woot. Matt caught a fish!

Second time fishing ever. Pretty rad. He was a little unsure of what to do next so he gave it back to the sea. How nice. I didn't want to eat the fish anyway.

Goodbye June, hello July. We are heading of for Utah soon. Can't wait. Life is good. It's hot. I wish it was summer all year long. I also wish that I was in high school again and could just lay in the sun all day long. I also also wish that I could buy all the fun summer clothes I wanted. And lastly I wish that summer didn't bring out such horrendous outfits, they are offensive to my poor little eyes.

Dear Blog

Dear Blog,
I have missed you my dear friend. I am sorry that I have neglected you for so long, it is unlike me I know, but you must understand that I am very busy now...AND all these crazy summer storms made our stolen internet go out for weeks. So you see it is not my fault and yes I still love you. I will post my little heart out asap.
Love,
Jessie Elizabeth Lake

Hard Days=Happy Days

This post is mostly for me. I wanted to be able to record my feelings. I don't like to be so public with my feelings, even in my own journal I have a hard time writing about my true emotions. I keep my emotions so tight that its hard to let anything out. But I need to have a reminder of my thoughts and feelings of this day. After much time, anticipation, hesitation, anger, joy and finally acceptance we started my mom's Temple work last night. Matt and I accompanied the youth to the Medford Temple to assist in baptisms. We have been planning this for quite some time. It didn't seem quite as significant in the days preceding, maybe I was numb, I'm good at that, or maybe it's just hard to imagine the feelings you will have about something so important until it comes. Maybe both. It was a struggle for me to move forward with this process because it is one of the most blunt ways of saying "yes, my mom is dead" there is no pretending, I can't tell myself she's just gone for awhile, or I just haven't seen her in forever. Doing her work means she's really dead and that is hard. I have been praying that something magical would happen to let me know that she was there, that she accepted it, that she loves me, that she knows me. I was hoping, really hoping for one of those crazy experiences where I see her or here her. Something. Anything. The longer she is gone the harder it is to feel her. I remember her always. But they are the same memories and rarely have emotions attached to them. I remember her like I remember someone in a movie but every so often I feel her. She was real, she was my mom, she did love me, she loves me still. I can smell her, and hear her, and feel her, not physically like she's touching me, but emotionally. I feel the feeling of her, I wish that I could feel that all the time. Her laugh, her smell, the feel of her embrace. It is a hard thing to explain but when it hits me it takes my breath away. It is powerful and private and painful but so worth it. I find myself praying for these moments often. The prayers seem to go unanswered but I know they are not...these moments come when I am not begging for them, they come all on their own and I cherish them. Last night I was needing one of these moments. I was irritable before we got to the Temple, which happens often when I'm sad. I don't like sharing my feelings when I'm sad, even with Matt, I feel like it somehow takes away from the realness of it, so instead I get snappy or quite. Once we got to the Temple though, I felt calm. I felt right, and although I did not get my "magic" I certainly felt the feeling of her strongly. She was an amazing mom-something I might not have told her enough-she did so much for us, she loved us, she supported us, she laughed with us and cried with us. She protected us. I have felt a lot of guilt and sadness that I did not have the power or strength to protect her in the way that I feel sure she would have protected me. Last night though I felt a release. I have given back to her all that I can. I have begun to do her Temple work and what better way can I thank her and love her than that. I had a dream not long after she died. We were walking in the grocery store holding hands. My mom was looking at some juice. I asked her if she could drink juice where she was. She told me not to worry. I started to cry as we were heading for the check out. I knew that we would soon have to say goodbye, that she would be leaving again. The check out lady looked at me and said not only can you buy bread but you can give the bread of life. And then my mom was gone. I feel like I have finally done that, I have given her all that I can, I have done my part-the beginning of it anyway. For selfish reasons I waited, but I needed to be ready. I needed to let go of that small part of me that still hopes she's going to knock on my door someday and say sorry that she's been gone so long. I had to move past that, accept that, yes, doing her Temple work makes it real to me that she is not coming back. I did it. It felt right. The magic was that there was no magic. It was just an amazingly simple, spiritual experience, that was perfectly fitting for my amazing, simple, mom. As we left the Temple I felt full and at peace. Someday I will see my mom again. I have hope.

Table Rock

Saturday morning we decided to take the whole fam damily on a hike up Table Rock. The last time I hiked Table Rock I was in 4th grade and got to wear my favorite pink jeans with a pink and green plaid cut off/button up tank top. It was rad. I was excited. We decided to let the Tom Tom lead the way because we weren't exactly sure how to get there-forget looking at a map for 2 seconds. Tom took us way past our exit-up a country road and said "you have reached your destination" at the end of some dead end road. Sweet. Tom has officially been retired. This is not the first time he has let us down, but it will be the last. A few hours later than expected we found table rock and were ready to get our hike on.

It started out like a stroll through the park. I was complaining that I missed my morning run for a silly little stroll. Matt said not to make everything about working out-just enjoy it. Blah.

30 seconds later it got steep and hot and steep and my bum started hurting and my legs were tired and I needed a break. See my glow? Matt was laughing. No one would take a break with me.


Matt was impressed with his photog skills...it's a lizard...who cares? They're gross.

See how pleased I look?

Finally to the top...it was awesome and a little scary. They should have a railing up there so people don't fall off.

We got to stop at the top and have a sweet picnic. I was afraid that the vaulters that were circling BELOW us were going to eat my salt and vinegar chips but they did not.

Molly and Wil like to get close to the edge to torment me. Sassy kids.

I Spy With My Little Eye...Something Green

Well after dreaming in green for over a year we finally did it! We changed our boring old faded red that I've had since I moved out, to totally rad, not faded at all green! My enthusiasm for painting faded quickly, really quickly, but Matt stuck it out like always. He even did all the clean up, put the stuff back on the walls, set up the furniture, and set out a bouquet of white tulips all while my little eyes were tightly closed and my little brain dreaming in la la land. What a guy.

Old Room

New Room

On a side note I found this really great "dresser" at a new antique store down the street from our house. Someday I am going to sand it and paint it and sand it again. Someday I will make Matt paint our room a nice blue. Someday.

I really have been wanting an old fireplace mantle for our headboard...I saw it in a magazine and I was instantly smitten. But, since we live in good ol' Talent, that might take me some time to find. Instead my friend Anne gave me a great idea to use an old door instead. Just my luck that very weekend was Talent's city wide garage sale and I found an awesome old door for....1 dollar! Can you believe it? The dollar menu at McDonalds isn't even a dollar anymore. I didn't know you could buy things for a dollar. I have begun to throw my dollars on the ground like I do with pennies they have become so useless...no no not really. I do throw away my pennies because they weigh down my change drawer but that's as far as I take it. So someday this too will be sanded, painted, and then sanded and become our new headboard. Pretty rad huh?

P.S.

SALLY-I am not contemporary. Really I'm not. Right? Right.